In addition to offering us connection and solace, relationships sometimes generate pain and suffering. This paradox can be tough to navigate without the presence of a caring, impartial third party. One of the reasons that many of us get into trouble in our relationships is that painful relational styles and patterns we learned at a young age often resurface in our adult relationships.
I work with couples to increase their awareness and understanding of the often unconscious ways they hurt themselves and their partner, and prevent themselves from getting what they deeply desire. I create a safe environment in which both partners can express their feelings and be heard, and assist couples to speak from the heart. I bring an openness and a lack of agenda to my work with couples, which creates space for the relationship to unfold as it needs to.
HOW WILL COUPLES COUNSELING WORK?
I like to meet with both members of the couple together for the first session and hear about what brings you to therapy, but most importantly, what drew you together. Then, I get to know each member of the couple better during the next couple of sessions by gathering your personal histories. Some couples may want to skip this step and get right to the heart of their problems and frustrations with their partner. I empathize and work with the urgency you may feel for change and relief! However, I believe that in order to help you enact deep, lasting change in your relationship, our work needs to be rooted in an understanding of who and what shaped you, and your partner, from an early age. In our fourth and subsequent sessions, I will create an atmosphere of gentle curiosity, in which we will make links between your and your partner's inner and outer worlds, and current and past experiences in relationships. I strongly believe that this type of inquiry and vulnerability strengthens your connection to your partner, while deepening your understanding of yourself.
Please note that I have experience using on-line technology (similar to Skype) with couples, even if both partners are not able to come in for an in person session.
If you’d like to set up an appointment or speak with me directly about your relationship, please call me for a phone consultation (510)269-7029.